Blue is home

The colors were something she missed.  Nothing against yellow and black, but there was just something comforting about that familiar blue and black that had adorned the SR1.  It had been like home to her.  While most people thought of 'cold' if asked to describe the color, Shepard came to think of 'blue' as warm and familiar.  It would elicit a small smile from her as she remembered the things that had happened on her old ship.  Garrus trying a doughnut for the first time.  Liara gradually catching on to when people were teasing.  Kaidan and Tali debating the finer points of omni-tools.  Wrex and Ash complaining about not having anything to kill.

The yellow and black of this new Normandy made her think too much of a wasp – stinging for the sake of stinging, not caring if you were friend or foe.  She had no one she could trust on this ship, aside from Joker and Dr. Chakwas.  Miranda and Jacob seemed ok, but they were working for them.  Trusting them would be a gradual process and one that she feared wouldn't happen soon enough, if it happened at all.  She glanced at the datapads Miranda had given her – lists and dossiers of potential crewmembers to help her take down the Collectors.  Shepard ruefully shook her head – for all she knew, these would be Cerberus plants.  More people to spy on her and report back to the Illusive Man.  It didn't matter if this one was a salarian scientist or that one was some unknown turian vigilante.  It seemed like Mr. Illusive had no qualms about using anyone he could to accomplish his current goals.

Shepard sat at her desk, remembering the trust she'd quickly built with her last crew and the fear of yellow was quickly replaced by the familiar feel of blue.  From Liara's skin to Garrus's visor.  The blue lights on the last set of armor Wrex had gotten before her ship was destroyed.  Then she caught sight of the picture frame on her desk.  She picked it up, staring at the picture of Kaidan that someone had thought to put there for her and remembered the soft, blue glow of his biotics.

She sighed and realized that, even though Cerberus would very much be a part of her life now, she had to take a leap of faith and trust at least some of the people on this ship.  Maybe not entirely, but at least enough to know that they wouldn't shoot her in the back while they were on the ground.  Shepard doubted that yellow would ever feel like home, though.  Then she remembered that each ship had the same familiar blue glow in the engine room.  Shepard grabbed her datapads and paged Joker, telling him to set course for Omega and that she'd be in engineering if anyone needed her.  It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.